Gary Slasher knew at a young age that he was different, from the moment he picked up his first meat cleaver. His later attempt to break into the horror industry as the first articulate slasher with a college degree proved to be a miserable failure. Vowing revenge, he remembered a certain television show with robots and mad scientists that always calmed his insatiable blood-lust. With that show in mind, he decided that if he could not join his homicidal brethren in their bloody escapades, he’d riff the hell out of them! J
Erin Slasher was an aspiring actress before she died choking on popcorn while laughing hysterically at the burping ghosts in The Grudge. Having risen from the grave in another failed apocalyptic zombie invasion, she decided to give the whole acting thing another shot. Unfortunately, horror directors and casting agents alike turned her away stating simply, “You talk too much.” At this point, Erin decided that this zombie discrimination will not stand and she would fight back the only way she knew how, with biting sarcasm and derision!
Erin met Gary after accidentally being stabbed by him at a weekend camping trip where she was attempting to harvest the brains of the horny teens he was stalking. The success of their marriage is due largely to the fact that no mater how many times Gary tries to kill Erin, she just won’t die!
Satan joined the Hor-RIFF-ic crew after their first release caught his eye. With most of his nefarious schemes on networks and cell phone apps, he has a lot of time on his hands and his own axes to grind with the horror industry. Namely that he’s stopped getting royalty checks from the major studios from when he invented the modern horror genre in the 70s and 80s! With his tacky shirt funds dwindling as a result of this betrayal, he sought out his old “friends” the Slashers to seek some much needed satanic payback!
Brad Dracula, brother of the movie darling Vlad Dracula, joins the Slashers periodically on their crusade against Hollywood. Having spent hundreds of years perfecting his brother’s act, he unfortunately is now considered a cliched vampire character actor who couldn’t even get a job teaching children about numbers and counting. Filled with hatred that burns like a pepperoni pizza with extra garlic, he will riff any vampire movie the gruesome twosome choose to take on!